Clients ask us questions about how we met, why we started Transform, Inc., and, of course, what we do. These questions really got us both thinking, and so on a plane ride home from North Carolina, after working with a client, we interviewed each other asking the questions, “What was the best and worst advice you’ve ever gotten?”

What is the best advice you’ve ever gotten?

Mary Anne: “You are working the wrong end of the problem” is what my dad used to always say to me.  If I was trying to fix something or thinking about something important, I had a tendency to zero in on just one part of the issue. He taught me very early on to step back and look at the whole situation, get a little distance, and look at it from a different angle. It was then that I’d see what was really going on.  I’ve always been grateful for my ability to see the real issues. Thanks, Dad!

Theresa: “Hope is not a strategy” has been a life-long lesson for me.  I have tended to be someone who was big on hoping for things to happen and short on taking the right steps to get what I wanted.  Hoping for something to happen and thinking about it versus taking the right steps to make it happen is the difference between thinking about or creating a plan and doing the action steps that get you the results you want. I’d never want to give up my optimism and hope, but I’ve learned to recognize when my hope for something lacks the specific action to actually get what I am hoping for. That’s made a big difference!

What is the worst advice you’ve ever gotten?

Mary Anne: It wasn’t necessarily advice, but somehow as I grew up I came to believe that you have to work really hard all the time. That’s served me well, at times, but what I’ve come to see is that when I’m overworking myself, I’m not as effective and I get less results.  Why? Because when I’m exhausted and haven’t taken time to recharge my energy, I’m not fully present or focused; I’m just “doing” for the sake of working hard.  What I’ve found is that if I rest and get recharged, I become more effective, productive, and my creativity is vast. Plus, I feel better – which is always a good thing. I’m cranky when I’m overtired and no one wants that!

Theresa: “Don’t be selfish.” This was ingrained into me very early in life. Selfish meant that you thought about yourself before you thought about others. I came to believe that any attention, care, or time that I gave to myself was selfish and so, to not be selfish, I had to forget myself and always attend to what other people needed.  In business this showed up as promoting others, discounting my efforts/value, and secretly, wanting to be noticed for what I did, but, rarely, asking for what I wanted or needed.  Similar to Mary Anne, I’ve learned that self-care is not selfish, rather, the more I take care of myself, the better I show up for others and that a little self-promotion and visibility helps people know more about you and what you do  – and that is just good business sense!

We’d love to hear from you. What is the best and worst advice you’ve ever gotten?  Share your response on our Facebook page.

Have any questions you’d like to ask Mary Anne or Theresa? If so, send us an email and we’ll do this again answering your questions.